"Ring!Ring!" I always dread hearing the phone ring in the middle of the night. Have always had this phobia that something not good has happened for someone to actually call in the middle of the night.But I did not get such a phone call. I got a sms from my sister on Saturday morning, informing that my eldest aunty was comatose in the hospital from a stroke. Not a very good start of the weekend and to have to hear my mum sobbing over the phone, incomprehensible words from her makes things worse. Even when my grandmother passed away when I was young, my mum wasn't crying uncontrollably like now. So it came as a shock with the news of my aunty and my mum on the phone in that state made me have this dreaded feeling of doom overwhelm me.
I've never been brought up in a family that showed much affection other than the relative pat on the head saying I'm a good girl. No huggings or kissings on the cheek. None. But I do hug my family members each time I leave for KL, some tradition my brother started way back when he was in his university days. So when I heard my mum cried on the phone I felt like a helpless fish on land, I didn't know what to say to console her and I felt like crying. I felt like a useless shit practically. I know that words to console her won't make any difference but deep down I know it will still give her some comfort. A weird and sad thing was, it's easier for me to say it to friends rather than to my family. I wonder why. But after 1 day of pondering how to say it out, I decided to call my mum to console her this morning. Wasn't too bad as I expected it to be, nor was it as awkward as I thought it would be. Probably due to the fact that my tummy was queasy enough from all the diarrhea that I didn't feel any butterflies in my stomach while I was waiting for my mum to pick up the phone.
So, getting that over and done with, now the only thing bugging me is the condition of my aunt. Came as a shock as she looks well when she attended my wedding last month. I guess again, God is trying to tell me that human life is really very unpredictable and to cherish what valuable time we have with our loved ones. Not spending time to find fault with each other or to spend time idling away, doing irrelevant things. I always felt like if anything happens to me, I'm ready to leave this world myself but I'm not ready for people around me to leave. I don't think I'll ever be ready.
Now the only thing I'm concentrating on is to pray hard to God that He is there to comfort everyone of us while He heals her slowly.
7 comments:
Dun worry my dear.. She will be fine and God will be with her..
mcmercedez: Thanks dear. :)
hopefully she'll b fine :)
i think i told the story bout my mum somewhere. her dad (aka my grandfather) passed away when she was in primary 5. my grandmother was a very passive lady. so was my aunt, my mum's elder sis. her brother, too young. so she stopped school and worked 3 jobs a day to feed the family.
the aunt wasn't so close to me. i cannot even remember how she looks like.
on the day i m departing for UK, my mum cried coz sad to see me go away. the following day, my aunt passed away.
things like this do happen. :) i'm jz glad my mum was very strong at that time. i nearly flew back to console her.
-------- i really really think i talked about this before. haha
i pray that not our will but God's will be done...
Alvin Lim: Thank you for your kind and comforting words. Though about you blogging about it I remember only vaguely, not the whole story. You know lar, getting old already. Sigh. :)
Zewt: Thanks. Appreciate it. :)
Dear seaqueen,
I prayed for her when I received your sms. Don't be too perturbed k. Leave it to the Lord.
myop101: Thank you for your prayers especially taking time to do so when it's so near your wedding too. Really appreciate it. :)
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