Goals in life

An interesting article caught my attention as I was reading this morning. The article talks about goals, setting goals and achieving them. It makes me ponder whether I've been doing the right thing.

All my life, I've been brought up to think that to be successful in life, I'm supposed to set goals, mostly realistic enough and achieve them or at least try to achieve most of them. But today's article open my mind further. It sorts of contradicts what I've been traditionally taught.

This was a topic brought up by an author called Stephen Shapiro whose book is called Goal-Free Living. In this article, the Stephen Shapiro is quoted to ask us to throw our to-do-list out the window. At first, I thought, why in the world would I do that. But reading further on, it makes sense, some of it.

First, Stephan Shapiro asked a good question, "Whose goal is it anyway?" He says, most goals aren't created by people themselves but is driven by society and family pressure. True enough but that's what we have in this world right? Society and family do play a part in our lives. So of course, our goals tend to evolve around them.

Secondly, he again said that when we're focusing on our goals, we're putting blinders on. Now this one I agree maybe 80%. I quote from the article written by Dawn Raffel, "You lose peripheral vision and miss out on all the breath opportunities around you" Yes, we lose some, we win some. When we put our effort in achieving that one goal, we lose sight on other things that might be equally important for example, that career we're banking on, while we totally neglect our other half or family. Can't be greedy right? What about multi-tasking? Can't you apply that to achieving goals as well? I don't know. You tell me. But it does makes sense to a certain extent I guess.

Third, Stephen Shapiro says that with busy achieving goals, we're always living for the future and people end up saying I'll be happy when (fill in the blanks). Ok. This one I agree. This is almost equivalent to being greedy in a way. Questions? I'm presuming that what he means is, we forget to live in the now and always want something further, something more, as in I want this or I must be at this level so that I'll be happy. But when we get it are we happy? Or do we want more?

We can't live without goals, nor can we live with having too many goals can we. Or can't we?
Moderation is the word here in my understanding while Shapiro says, to have the right goals, you must be able to relate to them the right way.

So what goals do you have for the now and the future?

5 rules

Have been reading this book for a little pick-me-up and I came across 5 advices that changed lives and I find it's worth sharing about.

1. Break the rules (only where it's not against the law).
2. Live like there's no tomorrow.
3. Never compromise.
4. Trust your gut reactions.
5. Think before you shriek.

Straight to point but great for making a person happier in life.

To...

As the pain becomes unbearable, she sits and tries to calms herself, willing the tears to flow, to let the pain unleash itself so that she can get closure but the tears just wouldn't come. "Funny" she thought. She has always been emotional, but this is the first, not being able to let go, to scream to cry. Why is that so?

Haley walked aimlessly around the house, not knowing what can be done since it's gotten too late to do anything about the problem. As she sits staring into space, she was startled by the beep on her phone. As she read the message, her heart constrict in pain knowing how true the message rings clear and precise.

To know the power is within yourself and the decision to change has been a wake up call for Haley. She knows that the only way she can overcome her pain is to take a step forward and admit the mistakes she has made for the past years. All these while she always thought that she's been right to stand up and make a point, standing up to what she knows is right, following her upbringing but all that's been said and done seems to have backfired and she wallows in self pity.

"I can't let my past keep coming to haunt me" thought Haley. "I've got to make a promise to myself. I've got to keep going strong. He needs me. I need myself, I mean I got to keep sane" she whispered to herself. Haley decided that it's time to change. To take matters into her hands. No point sitting here to wait.

Finding courage and strength, Haley makes a pact with herself, from tomorrow onwards, "I'm going to make an effort, to be happy. To not take things for granted and be grateful for what I have. To let the past be past. To put things in God's hands." To put others first before herself. To not be lazy. To pray on her worries. To always put her best foot forward and keep trudging forward. To take everyday as it comes. To learn something new everyday. To make a change in her life.

Life's blow and having hope

Have you ever been in the situation that makes you want to go around in circles screaming your head off. Ok. Probably it's a tad bit dramatic. But the bit about going around in circles does happen, especially when you're totally at lost in what you want in life. This feeling totally sucks.

When you're reached a certain barrier in life, it makes you stop and wonder, what am I in this world for? What do I want in life? I've reached that point in life and I'm still trying to find those answers. Asking, praying to God has not reaped answers yet. Maybe I'm not having enough faith in Him, maybe I've been not putting God first in my life above everything else.

You try out different jobs, from all those wonderful jobs that are supposedly to give you the best salary in the industry, with perks that most people would die for to end up being a consultant and still you can't find happiness in your work. Why is that? When you've worked 6 years after finishing college, trying to find satisfaction from your work, you finally realised that there is no way in life that you'll actually get the job of your dreams and you can definitely forget about getting satisfaction from work. Sounds sad.

I can't let this ruin my life, I mean sitting here, moaning about it, throwing tantarums. Just gotta find something that works, something that brings in the dough as well. Best thing of all, not giving up. I hope this works. I mean what's life without hope right? Keeping fingers crossed and praying hard.

How much more stupid can you get?

I stopped blogging for the past few months as I couldn't find one topic worth blogging about, nothing about the political situation in this country deserve a space in my blog and there isn't anything much interesting going on in my life at the moment but something caught my attention this morning and I thought what better topic can I get than this to start blogging again.

I've been reading the papers online every morning and the topic "POLICEMEN BEAT A RETREAT" caught my attention. Now thinking, this it totally a good topic to blog about, ever since I've been away from blogging for so many months.

My initial comprehension of this particular subject was, "Has there been some sort of riot that the policemen had actually retreated?" I mean that would be a total shame to the country and of course the police force but boy am I in for a bigger surprise.

After reading this particular piece in the news, it came to light that a police beat base in Chow Kit area has been shut down. The reason for the closure, get ready for this (Drum roll please...) I quote from the papers mind you, "Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar said the beat base was located in a dirty area where police faced the possibility of being exposed to contagious diseases." I was like huh? !! How much more stupid can one get? I mean is that a sufficient enough reason to close a base? Then read on, it say as quoated, "The presence of criminals also posed a threat to the safety of police officers."

And I thought that I was going bonkers reading too much online. I misjudged a politicians in this country. The longer you're in politics, the more ludicrous your reasons get. A safety threat? What kind of bloody reason is that? Does this mean that our safety is at stake here? To the extent that a police beat has to be closed down as criminals posed a threat to the police officers? Shouldn't it be the other way round or have I been in deep slumber all this while to actually missed out this important turns of events?

I guess I'm having a good laugh with my friends about this statement made by our beloved home minister but I shudder to think what will happen if he continues to exert his brain juice in running the ministry.

Malaysia's customer service

As Joelle was sitting down, looking at the menu, she was still contemplating whether to order the famous Hainanese chicken chop or the mee siam which looks equally delicious on the menu. But an after thought went through her mind, she then decided to pick the Hainanese chicken chop and their famous toast bun.

She looked at her watch and it showed 8.21pm. Hoping that time would go slower so that the food will arrive and she'll be able to enjoy it before moving on to her favourite outlet, Ikea. As the seconds hand of the clock slowly ticks by, it now showed 8.40pm and her food has yet to arrive.

Surprisingly though, the next two tables that were previously unoccupied now had other customers and to her dismay, their food seems to appear before them instead of hers. Now fuming away, she decides to eye the waiter that took her order, but he was adamant not to look at her eyes. The cloud of "fire" around her head, looks as if it's about to burst into flames, she called out to the outlet manager demanding for her food. As the other customers who came after her were happily gobbling away their food, Joelle practically had steam coming out of ears as she was trying to keep her composure cool while questioning where did her food go as she was the first to arrive.

After profuse apologising by the outlet manager, her food promptly arrive in less than 3 minutes. Now this is what's call efficient service, thinks Joelle. But before tucking into the plate of chicken chop, she made sure there was no "extra" ingredients added. Knowing how cruel the F&B industry can be even with prompt service after a little seething is done by the customer, a thorough check wouldn't hurt she thought. F&B's unspoken rule of revenge is either to spit in the "fussy customer's" food or to actually maybe toss it on the floor before rearranging it in a nice presentation for the customer.

I sometimes experience the same situation. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me and I tend to last out unmercifully at the waiters or most of the time the outlet managers for such poor service. Food delay can be expected but to the extent that they completely decided to ignore your order while someone who came much later gets their food, this is a total no-no. Malaysian F&B etiquette still need vast improvements.

Little bit of life

For the past few weeks I've been getting daily emails pertaining Petronas, be it an email complimenting their good effort and trying to put a good word for Petronas or even an email that totally gives no crap to Petronas.

I've been getting tired and bored with all these emails. It's always the same. Fighting against or for Petronas. What's the whole point? After all it belongs to the government and I find that it does not make any difference if we were all to forward emails to boycott and not pump Petronas petrol. Does this mean that everyone will actually follow and that the government will decide to lower down the petrol prices? Come on. Grow up. The fact is, nothing can be done with this country's government. Time to give up on them. I've given up on them already.

I mean, how much can we fight them? But I won't join them either. I'll just get on with my life as long as they don't disrupt mine bad enough for me to want to leave this country. I might as well use the energy and time to do something more useful either for the environment or spend time with my family, rather than waste it fighting the government, Petronas or to have anything to do with them.

Enjoy life. Happiness only comes when you make time to enjoy life. Stop and smell the flowers. Enjoy the company of family and friends. Easier said than done? Maybe ,but I guess a small step at one time helps to take other grievances away.